Jayma Mays first came to my attention in 2007, as the saving grace in Epic Movie. Playing Lucy, Mays' character was a spoof from the DaVinci Code that was afraid of the talking beaver. Unfortunately once the movie ended I left the theater never to think of Mays again. Until I saw her on Heroes anyway.
I immediately fell in love with the waitress Charlie that was possibly the nicest character on TV I've had the pleasure to watch. I'd gladly give Charlie a big tip if she were my waitress. Unfortunately she died. Even more unfortunate, for me at least, they wrote a spin-off book of Mays' episode which I bought. And never finished.
Charlie (or another Charlie anyway) then appeared on Ugly Betty. "Hey! You were called Charlie on Heroes too!" I said when I saw her on screen. "Like rain on your wedding day, that's ironic!"
But then Charlie started talking and Jayma Mays became my least favorite person ever. Not because of anything she did, but because Charlie came between Betty and Henry and I just wasn't going to stand for that. When Charlie left the show I said good riddance, and couldn't help but to think that Sylar killed the wrong Charlie.
Apart from an episode of Pushing Daisies I didn't see anymore of Jayma, and I was OK with that, seeing as how she stole Henry.
Then a few months ago I saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop and was surprised to see Mays in it...and absolutely loved her. Playing kiosk worker Amy, Mays channeled dead Charlie and became, in my opinion, the star of the movie. Amy, while not a character that was developed much, became someone I would love to be friends with, because of how sincere she was. I especially loved her unconditional love of Paul. Sigh. It was fantastic. After Paul Blart I knew that Jayma could do no wrong. Anything she did in her career from this point on I would support.
Then I saw the preview episode of Glee...and totally agreed with past me - Jayma was brilliant. She made the character of Emma real; not easily accomplished in a pilot episode where you aren't the main character. I can hardly wait to see new episodes of the series this fall when it returns full time.
I am proud to announce Jayma Mays as the first recipient of the Too Much Rock Seal of Approval.
As far as award shows go the VMA's is probably the only one that can muster up any excitement in anyone under the age of 40. It's a night that is always full of unexpected events (the Britney/Madonna/Christina three-way kiss for example) and incredible performances. Unfortunately it is also usually the same thing every year; an award show that is more like a giant concert and party than anything else.
Knowing this is what I was getting into I eagerly watched this year (if only to see the rumored Britney Spears comeback part 2). The show opened weak with the ever annoying Jonah Hill trying to kiss Britney before she explained to us that it was the 25th anniversary of the show. She then went backstage and it was revealed that the opening act was Rihanna. She has some catchy songs, but that's about all there is to say about her...anybody could be Rihanna. Anybody could have opened the VMA's just as well.
Some other low points of the show include the Jonas Brother's whining their way through their latest single "Love Bug", Jordin Sparks calling Russell Brand a slut, and "McLovin".
There were some great moments though, such as the hilariousness of host Russell Brand (especially when he called George W. a "retarded cowboy", and his trying to win away the promise rings from all of the Jonas Brothers before the night ends). Also exciting to watch were the performances of Pink and Christina Aguilera. They were both fantastic and it reminded us why they have staying power.
Oh yes, this was an awards show so I guess I should make some mention of the awards: all of the right people won. Britney Spears (who has never won a VMA in her entire career won three tonight), and Tokio Hotel won the viewers choice award.
Overall I'm pleased with MTV and the entertaining two hours I spent with them tonight. With more events like this, I just might have to tune into MTV a little more often.
Hamlet 2 sounds promising enough. Dana Marschz, a failed actor, settles for a job teaching high school drama and puts on stage performances of past Hollywood successes. And there are only two students in the drama class. And the program is being cut due to a lack of funding. So in a last hoorah sort of effort he writes an original musical to help earn the $6,000 needed to save the program. The musical, as I'm sure you're well aware is Hamlet 2 (complete with time machine).
Unfortunately, just because something sounds promising doesn't mean it turns out well. Instead of a hilarious movie what we get is a glimpse into the life of a man whose life is basically falling apart - with unhilarious results.
However, the movie does pick up its pace and becomes somewhat enjoyable during the third act, when the Hamlet 2 play begins. Instead of seeing a movie about some losers' life we see what could have been a great movie involving team work, second chances, and a sexy singing Jesus. Had the movie actually been a musical movie of Hamlet 2 the audience may have actually enjoyed the movie rather than seeming bored throughout the entire thing.
Along with the hilarious play itself there are some enjoyable performances by Elisabeth Shue and Amy Poehler - neither of whom is in the movie enough.
While the movie isn't unbearable and does have some amusing moments this is one that you should definitely wait to see until it's on DVD...or HBO.
College is a movie that strives to be this generations American Pie. The plot is basically the same; three "lovable" yet nerdy guys want to lose their virginity and hilarity ensues. Or that's what the trailers would have you believe.
The "humor" in the movie is so juvenile that anyone over the age of 8 wouldn't find it funny. Not that anyone 8 years old should watch it, since half of the "jokes" revolve around characters dropping the F-bomb.
One of the most annoying elements of the movie is the love story that seemed to be added as an after thought. There is no chemistry between any of the male leads and their love interests, and furthermore there is rhyme or reason for these girls pursuing our heroes so intently other than they look easy.
The only somewhat enjoyable aspect of the movie was Nick Zano shirtless in several scenes. Unfortunately his 1-dimensional frat guy villain kind of even ruined that. His character, along with all of the other stereotypes running around this movie (mind you there isn't a single black person in this movie...not very realistic of college) could have been better developed had a team of drunken monkeys wrote the script. Had the script been written by monkeys every other joke may have not been a gay joke or a fart joke.
Watching this movie made me feel like the only sober person at a party that had lots of potential but ended up lame. The character of Carter sums it up best when he's sitting outside the sorority house after being dissed by the girls. "College blows."
Superchick "Rock What You Got" (Christian Rock) Cute Is What We Aim For "Rotation" (Alternative) Various Artists "WALL-E" (Soundtrack) Jonas Brothers Burnin' Up (Single) (Rock/Pop) Shinedown "The Sound of Madness" (Rock) The Watson Twins "Fire Songs" (Alternative) Less Than Jake "GNV FLA" (Rock) Three 6 Mafia "Last 2 Walk" (Rap/Hip Hop) Thalia "Lunada" (Latin Pop)
Sometimes a song's popularity or even its own production can mask the fact that it is, when you strip it down to its base elements, actually very well written. Take "Islands in the Stream," the 1983 smash hit performed by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton and penned by the Bee Gees. Today, it's chorus is still as dreamy as ever, but the production is awash in lite-rock blah and, because it was always programmed to be as big as it was, the duet partners belt it to the bleachers, quickly killing the intended sentiment of the lyrics. The song gained a new life, of sorts, when the hook was copped and revised by Mya and put to brilliant use in rapper Pras' 1998 single "Ghetto Supastar (That is What You Are)". Now, however, 25 years after the original, indie rock heroes Constantines have recruited Feist to redo the whole damn thing -- and redo it smashingly. They start from scratch, slow-cooking "Islands" with an intensely personal, hushed arrangement that has just the right amount of soothing, deep bass guitar. Meanwhile, with low-key vocal turns, lady Leslie and the band's lead singer, Steve Lambke, finally realize the beauty and warmth of the words that were always there but overshadowed by the outsized personalities of Rogers and Parton. In fact, listening to this new version, it's almost as if you can hear the sound of perfect love, imagining it being absolute contentment with your significant other that requires nothing more than being together in a hammock on a relaxed spring afternoon. We can rely on each other, uh huh. A
These days, all conversations regarding Mariah Carey can basically be broken down into two subjects: her looks (or, perhaps more specifically, her choice in attire) and her breakdown/eventual comeback blah blah blah. While the success of the 5X Platinum "Emancipation of Mimi" (2005) was certainly an inspiring tale, especially for longtime fans, people keep referring to the event as if it were an anomaly so unfathomable that it must be the only thing worth talking about when Carey's name arises. That or, in a big slap in the face to actual career relevance, the songbird's array of revealing outfits. At 38, I say she's more than earned the right to dress however she wants and saying something like "she's too old" or, worse, something thoroughly misogynistic, such as "she's a whore," does nothing but empower useless, harmful social stereotypes. What's more, Carey seems more confident and comfortable with herself than ever, so why shouldn't she celebrate her body? In fact, the singer's renewed sense of self continues to inform her music, and her strut on "E=MC2", her ninth studio disc, is equal to or greater than that displayed on immediate predecessor "Mimi" and she easily carries you through even the rockiest moments.
Now, much has been made of this new mathematic title, with "witty" blogsters making references to the obvious differences between her and Einstein, but anyone should be able to figure out that Mariah's own formula breaks down thusly: Emancipation=Mariah Carey to the second power. As in, she's even stronger after being freed from the restrictions of both bad press and her own personal demons. It's kind of clever, if you think about it. Ballsy, too, that she would name a record full of crossover radio jams and lovesick ballads after something as famously brainy as Einstein's key work. Yet this post-"exhaustion" MC is a ballsy gal in general...so it's too bad that the producers neuter that strength and wind up turning the new album into something so safe it verges on dull.
Thankfully, we do open with the strongest tracks on the record: Migrate and first single Touch My Body. The former finds the venerable songstress rubbing shoulders with the Short Circuit of modern R&B, the always electronic-sounding T-Pain, who I swear at some point in his life swallowed a vocoder and now forces all collaboraters to at least partially use one, including the girl in question. She fares better than most, however, as her distinct voice could never be gurgled into something unrecognizable. As well, le Pain infuses the song with a killer beat and showy, catchy synths that help glue the hook to your brain. And while Body, on first listen, may have sounded like a dreary retread of hits past, repeated listens have revealed the beauty of both the twinkling beat (by Tricky, a big fan of deceptive simplicity) and the more complex-than-it-seems melody. In addition, Carey's performance is relaxed, sexy and, above all, agreeably playful (see the charming video, featuring 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer, for further evidence of this).
The next handful of songs are less memorable but almost as entertaining and are probably the most likely to be chosen as future singles. Side Effects, featuring Young Jeezy, is notably bangin' while I Stay in Love and Love Story are pleasant, serviceable ballads that sadly (yes, sadly) lack the five-octave histrionics of yore, settling for mid-range prettiness. In fact, none of the slow jams (including the one just sent to radio, Bye Bye) come close to even her last big weeper, We Belong Together. Produced mostly by...sigh...Jermaine Dupri ("yeeeeeahhh...uh huh"), they feel generally unimaginative and bland, though Carey does what she can with them. Plus, who knows? They may prove to be growers over time, especially once heard over the airwaves or in a big-budget video. But for now -- and in light of all that she's done before -- they disappoint.
While the first half of "E=MC2" is quite good, something funny happens when we hit track eight: Mariah temporarily transforms into a Vietnamese hooker. On I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time, she repeats the titular phrase so many times it quickly goes from unintentionally funny to teeth-gratingly annoying -- and the ucky throwback vibe of the music doesn't help anything. And then presto, almost everything following that travesty becomes boring, as if it were signalling the end of even trying to make a great CD. We get more ballads that blend together; O.O.C., a second song (following the more tolerable Cruise Control) that finds Carey trying on a fake, silly accent, this time Hispanic (it was Jamaican for Cruise); and, worst of all, a Bible-themed piano tinkler called I Wish You Well -- a sequel in spirit and execution to "Mimi"'s Fly Like a Bird -- that sounds too much like Carole King's ANatural Woman for this reviewer's comfort.
At its best, Mariah's first post-comeback effort recalls her 90s glory days; at its worst, it's just another pop-R&B hybrid that any upstart divette could have made. Fortunately, the good outweighs the bad and this very specifically titled equation is certain to keep Carey at the top of the charts for the next few months. It's just a shame that, with all her brass and divine diva powers, she ended up delivering something that, impressive vocal abilities aside, fits in so squarely with everything else...which may ultimately mean that the only thing label heads want to see after "=" is "$". However, I can certainly respect everyone involved with the MC machine for wanting to keep it a continued success. After all, if her career were to go off the rails yet again, she'd be doomed to living out her life nowhere but in the fashion pages of gossip rags, with her clothes becoming all anyone has to talk about -- and nobody wants that. B-
Download: Migrate, Touch My Body, Side Effects Avoid: I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time, O.O.C., I Wish You Well
Jayma Mays first came to my attention in 2007, as the saving grace in Epic Movie. Playing Lucy, Mays' character was a spoof from the DaVinci Code that was afraid of the talking beaver. Unfortunately once the movie ended I left the theater never to think of Mays again. Until I saw her on Heroes anyway.
